how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
