Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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