He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
