just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Are we still banned from the library?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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