You really coming over, don't trick.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He kissed a someone with a penis
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
