Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
