bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
