i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
