He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
