Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
