Pants 0. Shit 1.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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