Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
