Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.

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(352): View more from Florida

Billy Mays is dead too!

(1-352): View more from Florida

Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining

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(904): View more from Florida

The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.

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(561): View more from Florida

oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything

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(402): View more from Nebraska

There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

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(713): View more from Texas

Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...

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(936): View more from Texas

Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check

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(812): View more from Indiana

Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet

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