You really coming over, don't trick.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
