By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
well you can't waste a boner
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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