Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
and you fell through a lawn chair
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
