question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
