like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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