Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
