To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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