conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
love makes seman taste better
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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