i barfeds in our rink
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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