Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
