Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
