i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
