ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
