Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
