I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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