I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
