i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
