His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
