nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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