happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize