There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
