please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
