Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
