That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Someone shattered a urinal.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
