well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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