it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
