Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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