I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
