my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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