Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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