i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
