just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize