My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
