My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
