Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
