hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
