Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
