I can text with my tongue
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
