the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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