After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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