i just had sex bonerless
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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