The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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