Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
