Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

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(518): View more from New York

apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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(720): View more from Colorado

What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.

(303): View more from Colorado

First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left

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(210): View more from Texas

this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD

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