the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
