Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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