Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
