How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
