Dual....:-)
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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