Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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