Cold hands, warm shart.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize