Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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