your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
