Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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