Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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