It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
