He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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