Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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