I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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