I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
