I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
