no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
