We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
