By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
