I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
