My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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