I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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