We left an ass print on the piano.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize