wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
