I puked a lego.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
